Ezmerelda Endora Enid

Today, I encountered a very Mormon take on Prop 8.... it was pretty one-sided, and uncaring... that 'fence-sitting Mormons should be excommunicated', not to mention a couple of random rude queer jokes. I understand your point of view, but pious, vicious jokes are seriously of bad taste. These are human beings you're speaking of-- and people who just want to be treated fairly. It's no wonder they're offended - the select few homophobic people make comments like this and think it's no big deal. WELL, IT IS. These 'Queers' you speak of are my spirit brothers and sisters, and we are all linked to each other. Be an example, not a hatemonger.

I am one who actually is torn on this terribly painful issue... I would like to call myself an empath. There are innumerable facets to every story, issue and problem-- and the older I get, and the more people I am blessed enough to speak to, the more I realize that I will never know the whole story. Only God knows. Thus, I will never be completely DONE learning, I will never be completely decided on one issue, I will never stop looking for another side of the issues I care about. When I am done, I am damned. Literally... because it means an end. Stagnation. Nonprogression. No THANK you.

YES, I realize that our prophet has put his support for Prop 8 . But NO, that doesn't mean we should follow blindly. EVERYTHING in our gospel is up for prayer and personal revelation, and just because someone's heart does not agree with it, it doesn't mean they should be excommunicated. I have a great love and respect for people of all faiths, lifestyles and beliefs, and I also trust that the Lord is in control of our country... not politicians. Thus, I actually lean to the left A BIT on it, and wish that the church had not taken such a strong stance. Is love actually the MAIN basis of our gospel, or is it controlling society by mans' standards? Are we putting our trust in the arm of the flesh (the government) or the arm of God? And what kind of an example does this set for nonmembers? I really don't think this is going to bring a lot of interest to the church, nor will it help anything.

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On another note, I found out that my sister-in-law is pregnant! It's her first, and she's an absolute ANGEL, so I'm very excited for her. So, in honor of her, here's to my best friends who've been blessed as mothers:



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I was blessed to be visited by two friends from my past this week, and had some great conversations with both of them. One (We'll call her Evaline) is a very open-minded intellectual who was my best friend growing up, and who spends her time with other LDS intellectuals and philosophers. She constantly questions things and isn't afraid to research. She's lucky enough to live on the other side of the country, where things are WAY different. The LDS community is open about everything, sometimes even pray to Heavenly Mother in Sacrament meeting, talk about many deeply hush-hush issues, and are very accepting. Evaline pointed me in the way of an exceptional blog, http://motherlovergoddess.blogspot.com. She also really stressed that I read "Rough Stone Rolling", and that I check out the Sunstone website. I didn't realize how much I missed her until she played some music of hers for me, and I started crying. She and I grew up writing music, singing, and drawing together. All of our talents are so similar and comparable, I know it was no coincidence in us meeting. I wish Evaline were here more often, but she's happy in the life of a single business woman in D.C., and thriving.

The other friend who visited we'll call "Ella". She was an old roommate, very low-key, relaxed and giggly. She also traveled a lot, hiked, had the cutest short blonde hair, and loved butterflies. Such a fun person to be around. She's got two beautiful, adopted children, a husband she loves dearly, and a new home. She also struggles with her weight (like me) but is beautiful nonetheless. Her father is a general authority for the church, and we talked about some of the Prop. 8 issues. She's quite conservative, but very understanding that people think otherwise. A very good example. I mentioned to her that there were some doctrinal questions I had, and she asked me to pose one for her. I decided to ask her about her thoughts on the Temple rituals being changed (referring to Wilford Woodruff's warning of the church being corrupt if this ever happened). She got excited, because apparently it was something she struggled with a while ago-- so much so that she cried to her father about it. He responded to her with a very interesting answer, one that I would never have come up with. He said, "Look at it this way: it's not a GOOD thing that these things were changed. The members of the church are becoming more corrupt, and can't handle some of the responsibilities given in the temple. It's for our protection, but it's not a good thing. It's a sign of the times." WOW. I was stunned when she told me that.

I have SO much more on my mind, but it's 12:30, and I've got to get some sleep. I'll post more later--THANK YOU for reading!!